Duo's Song
by Anonymous Donor
Summary: (songfic, suicide) Yeah, I used the Blink song. It just really fit the situation and Duo, so I went for it. This one got me nominated on some sight for best writer and best songfic. I, of course, didn't win, but that's okay. VERY DEPRESSING


Duo's Song (Adam's song by Blink 182)  
  
An original song fic by Kathryn  
  
::Warning:: Angst (depressing), suicide fic, shounen ai, 1x2  
  
::Disclaimer:: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. I am merely an obsessive fan. I do not own "Adam's song", any song by Blink 182, or Blink 182. I bet Mandia wished I owned Blink. ^_~ Sorry Quatre. Had to add that. If I ever own them, you can have Travis Barker as a tub toy. Ow! And we call you Quatre because you're the nice on in our group. Sheesh!!! They're all against me! Enjoy!  
  
1 Song Lyrics are in this style  
  
~/flash back/~  
  
/sound/  
  
++letter++  
  
~ * ~  
  
(Duo's POV)  
  
I never thought I'd die alone,  
  
2 I laughed the loudest, who'd of known?  
  
I'm all alone. No one that cares about me. Th one person I care about will never care about me, so what's left for me? I hate this room, I hate this tour of heroes/peace, I hate the peace, I hate my life. Sure, I make it look like I'm happy in front of the guys, but deep down I just wanted to scream and cry.  
  
I traced the cord back to the wall,  
  
No wonder. It was never plugged in at all.  
  
At least they let me stay back here instead of going to the party. I don't want to spend time with them anymore. Well, save for one. Yet another reason my life sucks. Why can't I be normal?  
  
I took my time, I hurried up.  
  
The choice was mine I didn't think enough.  
  
I'm too depressed to go on,  
  
I know how to end it though. I can stop all the pain right away. I'm going to. Shinigami will be just that, death. No point for me to live now. Too bad Heero doesn't carry his gun now that the war is over. That would've made it a lot quicker. Less messy, too. Oh, well. I'll just break the blade out of my razor. /crack/ There. Piece of cake. But before I do this, I gotta tell him. I know that he doesn't feel the same but I think he should know how I felt.  
  
++Dear Heero,  
  
I'm sorry for the mess I left in my wake, but it is peaceful now without me, ne? I know it's wrong, but I had to tell you. Ai shiteiru, Heero. Always and forever. You would've killed me for that. Too late, huh? Ha. How ironic. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but that would've made it worse for me and I would've done this sooner. Oh, well. I'll bet you're all happier now, without a baka like me bugging you all the time, but just wait. You'll miss me. Yeah, right. Well, goodbye forever, Hee-chan.  
  
Love forever,  
  
Duo Maxwell++  
  
You'll be sorry when I'm gone.  
  
That should get my point across. They shouldn't be back for hours, so I have plenty of time to bleed out.  
  
I never conquered, rarely cam.  
  
16 just held such better days,  
  
Days when I still felt alive,  
  
We couldn't wait to get outside.  
  
I wish the war had never happened, or at least I had never been in it.  
  
~/ "So, what should we do today, Solo? It's nice out, why don't we go to the playground?"  
  
"No, we can't. There are too many soldiers. We could get hurt."  
  
"Then what are we gonna do?"  
  
"Just sit still for a minute, and I'll check with Father Maxwell on what we can do."  
  
"Okay, Solo. Hurry back." I waited ten minutes, then I decided to go look for him. I walked into the narthex of the church and saw Father Maxwell and Sister Helen in a great crimson pool. They were already dead. I found Solo a few feet away, struggling to live. He was drenched in his, Father and Sister's blood. "Solo! What happened? Who did this?"  
  
"They killed everyone. Please leave here quickly, before they get you, too."  
  
"I won't leave you, Solo!"  
  
"You have to. Don't worry. I'll always be with you. Not in body, but in spirit. Now, go, before it's too." He died right then in my arms. I took the name Duo knowing I would never be alone. /~  
  
Now I feel I am alone. But soon, I'll be back with Solo again, forever.  
  
The world was wise, too late to try.  
  
The tour was over, we'd survived.  
  
I couldn't wait 'til I got home  
  
To pass the time in my room alone.  
  
Then this stupid tour of peace/heroes. I don't want to be a hero. And today was only day three of a year long tour.  
  
~/ "Okay, guys! Time for the party. We'll go back to the hotel so you can get into some casual clothes," Relena Peacecraft said as we draove away from the convention hall. She was having a blast, flaunting herself to everyone, but especially Heero. I could've killed her. He basically ignored her.  
  
"If it's okay with everyone, I'm gonna stay at the hotel. I'm really tired." I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.  
  
"Are you feeling alright? Maybe I should stay with you." Quatre looked worried.  
  
"No." I answered to quickly. Gotta cover. "That's okay, Quatre. I just need to get some rest." Quatre nodded reluctantly. /~  
  
I'm glad I' alone. I couldn't do this if everyone else were here. I'm trying to numb myself and I've already emptied the mini-bar. Just a buzz. Shimatte. It'll have to do. I guess I should will my stuff to people.  
  
I never thought I'd die alone.  
  
After six months I'll be unknown.  
  
Give all my thing to all my friends.  
  
You'll never set foot in my room again.  
  
Let's see. I'll give Wufei all my books, Trowa can have the BMW Z8, Quatre can have my CD and movie collection, and Heero will get. my cross, because it's close to my heart, just like him. Hilde can have my house and everything in it.  
  
You'll close it off, board it up.  
  
Remember that time I spilled the cup  
  
Of apple juice in the hall.  
  
She'll never go into my room, though. She's too superstiticious. She'll think my spirit will be haunting it. Oh, but what about Quatre?  
  
Please tell mom it's not her fault.  
  
I'll add to Heero's not for him to tell Quatre it wasn't his fault, so he won't blame himself, and that there was nothing he could've done to make me veer from this.  
  
I never conquered, rarely came.  
  
16 just held such better days,  
  
Days when I still felt alive,  
  
We couldn't wait to get outside.  
  
I can't believe peace for me is coming so near. Full peace, real rest. Sounds beautiful. This ice is doing good to numb. It's time.  
  
The world was watching, hate to try.  
  
The tour was over, we'd survived.  
  
3 I couldn't wait 'til I got home  
  
Ugh. My eyes are all blurry, and I haven't even cut 'em yet. Why am I crying? Get that shit out of my eyes! There, better. Itai! It still hurts a little. Oh, well. One down, one to go. There, done. I think I'll just sit in the bathtub. I don't want to leave too big a mess. /creak/ /slam/ What was that? It sounded like the door.  
  
"Duo? Where're you at? I brought you some stuff from the party in case you were hungry."  
  
To pass the time in my room alone.  
  
Shit. Heero came back. He's the last person I want to see right now. My fingers are cold now, it's a start.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
God! He's not supposed to be here! No one's supposed to find me for a few hours yet. My hands are completely cold now, but it's not enough. Just stay out for a bit longer. I can hear him fiddling with some paper.  
  
"Aw, hell!!! Duo!?!" Shit. He found the letter. I'm only beginning to feel light headed. Just don't come to the bathroom. too late. My eyes are blurry and warm again.  
  
"Shit, Duo." He's grabbing towels. Why is he tying my wrists?  
  
"No, Heero. Stop. I want it this way." The tears are flowing now and I can't stop them.  
  
"Duo, how could you? You have so much to live for." His eyes. They're watering. No, he's crying. He's crying over me?  
  
I never conquered, rarely came.  
  
Tomorrow hold such better days,  
  
Days when I can still feel alive,  
  
When I can't wait to get outside.  
  
"No I don't. I don't have anything."  
  
"Shut up, Duo! You do! You have me!" What did he just say. I think the blood loss is going to my head.  
  
"What're you saying, Heero?"  
  
"What do you think? I love you, Duo! You can't leave me! You're the only reason I've made it this far!" I'm dead. I know it. "I'll get the ambulance." He jogs out. I can hear him talking to someone on the phone. Now, he's coming back to me. "They're on their way. Just hold on."  
  
"But why? I want to go. I want to rest peacefully in death. Doesn't it sound nice, Heero?" His hand brings itself across my cheek. It wasn't a hard slap, but it still stings.  
  
"No, Duo, it doesn't. Then I'd be without you. Do you know how miserable I would be?" But now the door opened in a hurry. Paramedics come rushing in and lift me out of the bathtub. Heero follows them out to the ambulance with me. "Can I come with him?" The paramedic nods and Heero climbs in with me. He holds my hand the whole way. I can feel the warmth of his touch. I can't believe he loves me. I thought he hated me. He always ignored me.  
  
The world is watching, the time goes by.  
  
The tour was over, I've survived.  
  
I can't wait 'til I get home  
  
To pass the time in my room alone.  
  
Heero stayed with me the entire time in the hospital. The tour of heroes was cancelled, so we get to go home. Heero's gonna live with me. I guess I'm not alone. Can't believe I wanted to leave with him to love.  
  
~ End * End ~  
  
A.N.: I'm finished! I don't know if I like it or not. I may re-write it in the future. How'd you like?  
  
Duo: Hated it. I don't like the thought of killing myself. I couldn't do it, unlike  
  
Self-desructo-boy over here.  
  
Heero: (glares at Duo) At least it wasn't me this time. You always try to kill me.  
  
Duo: Yeah. You got something against us?  
  
Me: No. you're actually my favorite character and Heero is tied with Wufei and  
  
Quatre.  
  
Quatre: Well, why are you writing about killing us? It's so depressing.  
  
Me: I don't know. Maybe I'll get back to comedy if I find the right inspiration.  
  
Wufei: You'd better, onna. I don't like depressing or sappy things. Get over it.  
  
Me: Jeez, guys! You're awfully irritable. I'll try to be good and write a  
  
happy one. (under breath) right after the next few.  
  
All Pilots: Aaaaaacccccckkkkkk!!!!!!  
  
Me: ^_~*  
  
Truthful Comments Welcome! 


End file.
